think*Mindful

“It began to seem that one would have to hold in the mind forever two ideas which seemed to be in opposition. The first idea was acceptance, the acceptance, totally without rancor, of life as it is, and men as they are: in the light of this idea, it goes without saying that injustice is a commonplace. But this did not mean that one could be complacent, for the second idea was of equal power: that one must never, in one’s own life, accept these injustices as commonplace but must fight them with all one’s strength. This fight begins, however, in the heart and it now had been laid to my charge to keep my own heart free of hatred and despair.”

– James Baldwin

“People have different ‘love languages,’ for some people, touch makes them feel loved; for others it’s meaningful conversations, or how much time you spend together. But if you’re married to someone whose love language is touch, you can buy them expensive gifts or take them on vacations or say I love you until the cows come home, but it won’t matter because it won’t mean love. In good relationships, partners try to figure out each other’s love language and speak it-even if it’s different from their own. Good relationships are built on mutual caretaking.”

– Michelle Weiner-Davis

“Each person’s grief is as unique as their fingerprint. But what everyone has in common is that no matter how they grieve, they share a need for their grief to be witnessed. That doesn’t mean needing someone to try to lessen it or reframe it for them. The need is for someone to be fully present to the magnitude of their loss without trying to point out the silver lining.”

– David Kessler

“Don’t prioritise your looks my friend,
they won’t last the journey.
Your sense of humour though, will only get better.
Your intuition will grow and expand like a majestic cloak of wisdom.
Your ability to choose your battles, will be fine-tuned to perfection.
Your capacity for stillness, for living in the moment, will blossom.
And your desire to live each and every moment will transcend all other wants.
Your instinct for knowing what (and who) is worth your time, will grow and flourish like ivy on a castle wall.
Don’t prioritise your looks my friend,
they will change forevermore,
that pursuit is one of much sadness and disappointment.
Prioritise the uniqueness that make you you, and the invisible magnet that draws in other like-minded souls to dance in your orbit.
These are the things which will only get better.”

– Donna Ashworth

“Hope’s home is at the inner most point in us and in all things.
It is a quality of aliveness.

It does not come at the end as the feeling that results from a happy outcome, rather it lies at the beginning, as a pulse of truth that sends us forth.
When our inner most being is attuned to this pulse it will send us forth in hope regardless of the physical circumstances of our lives.
Hope fills us with the strength to stay present, to abide in the flow of mercy, no matter what outer storms assail us.

It is entered always and only through surrender, that is, through the willingness to let go of everything we are presently clinging to, and yet when we enter it, it enters us us and fills us with its own life, a quiet strength beyond anything we have ever known.”

– Cynthia Bourgeault

“I have been asked over 25,000 questions about relationships.
A client today asked me if I had to give one answer to all of those questions, if I had only one chance to answer all 25,000 questions, what would be my answer?

Here’s my answer.

“Become more aware of what is happening inside you, your body, your sensations, your emotions, your stories. Challenge all that you believe about our World.
Know that all distress, all trauma… comes from not understanding how your history, when unsafe, made you adjust and over-compensate, and you developed coping strategies with your imperfect parents.

Those coping strategies now mean that you cannot connect the dots between the current moment, your feelings inside, what those feelings are, how they relate to this moment, and how they relate to your past.

You have had to create meaning out of all the moments, starting young, when you were let down and not satisfied with those that were supposed to be the ones that cared for you and installed in you a safe or unsafe Universe.
Without this awareness inside, you react, and you set off the alarms in the person across from you… the alarms that they have not made contact with.
In some moments it might seem like you know what your feelings are, and what needs you have, and how those needs will help you.

You are often wrong.
Knowing what we need is very difficult.
What we usually need is deep understanding at a feeling level, and to have that, both partners must know how.
And not knowing how makes us human.
So both partners have to have the intention of wanting to learn how.
That is truly what is needed to begin.
If you are fighting about your frustrations, and not in contact with a much deeper need for understanding, then the softer primary emotions, like hurt, fear, sadness, joy… are not being made contact with.
Only gentleness with the above can heal.
It’s hard for me.
It’s hard for you.
And the person in front of you… it’s also hard for… and he/she would probably make better choices… if he/she knew how.
We must be taught this if it was skipped in childhood, with imperfect frustrated parents.”

– Derek Hart

“When a Clown moves into the Palace, he doesn’t become a King, The Palace becomes a Circus.”
– Turkish Proverb

“What need is there to weep over parts of life? The whole of it calls for tears.”
– Seneca