A man walks into a doctor’s office, sits down and says “Now doctor, this may sound kind of strange, but I have five penises”
The doctor, taken aback asks him “My god, well how do your pants fit?”
To which the man replies “Like a glove”
“Birds scream at the top of their lungs in horrified hellish rage every morning at daybreak to warn us all of the truth, but sadly we don’t speak bird.”
– Kurt Cobain
“Fundamentalism has nothing to do with religion. It’s particular way of thinking, speaking, and behaving. It has more to do with the how and why someone holds an idea and how they regard people who don’t share their ideas, than the ideas themselves.”
– Jin-roh @ Reddit
“You’re something between a dream and a miracle.”
– Elizabeth Barrett Browning
“Millions long for immortality who don’t know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.”
-Susan Ertz
“When people feel like they have no sense of direction, no purpose in their life, it’s because they don’t know what’s important to them, they don’t know what their values are. And when you don’t know what your values are, then you’re essentially taking on other people’s values and living other people’s priorities instead of your own. This is a one-way ticket to unhealthy relationships and eventual misery.”
– Mark Manson
“When you’re standing with someone and you’re on your mobile device, what you’re saying to them is, ‘You are not as important as, literally, anything that could come to me through this device.'”
– Renny Gleeson
“Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly just cynics. Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. Cynics always say no. But saying “yes” begins things. Saying “yes” is how things grow. Saying “yes” leads to knowledge. “Yes” is for young people. So for as long as you have the strength to, say “yes’.”
― Stephen Colbert
“My course is set for an uncharted sea.”
– Dante Alighieri
“Law Number XXXV: The weaker the data available upon which to base one’s conclusion, the greater the precision which should be quoted in order to give the data authenticity.”
– Norman R. Augustine
“Accustomed to the veneer of noise, to the shibboleths of promotion, public relations, and market research, society is suspicious of those who value silence.”
– John Lahr
“When the past no longer illuminates the future, the spirit walks in darkness.”
– Alexis de Tocqueville
“The question “Who ought to be boss?” is like as “Who ought to be the tenor in the quartet?” Obviously, the man who can sing tenor.”
– Henry Ford
“This is what you must be like. Grow wherever life puts you down.”
– Ben Okri
“Take my hands in your hands and put them where you want my memory to be.”
– Kim @selfmyths